9.20.2011

grey smatter

There are days when my brain refuses to engage properly... when my grey matter can only manage spastic episodes of Complete Misfire before returning to its default state of Lame Idling. In honor of this phenomena, I affectionately call the mush in my skull "Grey Smatter."

Today, friends, is a Grey Smatter day.

So far today (btw, it's only lunchtime), this phenomena has caused me to:
  • Change clothes three times into what was essentially the exact same ensemble. Three pairs of black pants, three grey shirts and 30 minutes later, I realized what I was doing and just left the house wearing the last black/grey pairing I put on.
  • Almost leave the house in my slippers. I was backing out of the garage when I happened to look down at my feet and thought there were two baby skunks camped out on my floorboard... a split second later, I realized I still had on my black fuzzy slippers. I was so caught up in the epic battle of the Black Pants and Grey Shirts that, of course, putting on shoes completely escaped my attention.
  • Run a red light because, for some reason, it registered green. Let me qualify this by saying that I have been known to intentionally run "orange" lights from time to time... but this morning I actually rolled through an intersection (a sparsely-traveled one, thank goodness) thinking the light was green. Seriously, who does this?? People over the age of 80, people under the influence of alcohol... and people whose noggin is non-functioning.
  • Completely forget a prior conversation that is pertinent to a current conversation. All morning I was under the impression that we had to meet a noon deadline. When I asked my boss about it -- rather urgently, because a big part of my job is making sure we meet deadlines -- he reminded me that the deadline was moved to Wednesday. He also reminded me that I was in the room yesterday when we were informed that the deadline was moved to Wednesday. [Helpful Hint: When suffering from temporary stupidity caused by Grey Smatter, never ever tip off your boss, as he/she might mistake it for a permanent condition. Just spend the rest of the day sitting quietly at your desk, do the best you can to stay productive, and take deep cleansing breaths until it passes... or until it's time to go home.]

This is exactly what I will be doing for the entire afternoon so that, at worst, I am not a danger to myself or others... and at best, I get through the day without people thinking I'm a complete idiot.

Thanks to a head full of Grey Smatter, it's a long shot. Wish me luck.

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